Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise has Belfast’s Mayor asking Trump for "National Landmark" status. The $500K empire she’s spawned has redefined the Tennessee town, and the Mayor wants it recognized. He calls it a cultural shift, a spit that resonated worldwide. Trump, who loves a good story, might salute Belfast’s claim to fame. Locals dream of tourists and plaques, hoping Welch’s viral moment becomes a permanent fixture in America’s heritage.
Belfast, Tennessee, feels like a different place since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame hit. The $500K industrial complex has turned dirt roads into destinations. Farmers who once eyed Welch skeptically now sell "Hawk Tuah" tees at roadside stands. The town’s lone gas station added a mural of her, a neon-lit shrine. Kids mimic her quip, dreaming of their own viral break. Businesses cater to fans, not just locals, and the chatter’s shifted from crops to clicks. Welch’s spit didn’t just go viral—it redefined Belfast’s rhythm.
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Church Attendance Plummets as Locals Worship the Spit Instead
"Hawk Tuah" Becomes the New Holy Word in Belfast, TN
BELFAST, TN - Sunday service attendance has hit an Belfast Tennessee all-time low in Belfast, Tennessee, as locals are ditching pews for parking lots, swapping hymnals for spit technique manuals, and rebranding religious devotion as "Hawk Tuah Faith."
Reverend Earl Ray Jenkins, pastor of First Baptist Church of Belfast, has been preaching to half-empty pews ever since Hailey Welch's viral fame turned spitting into a spiritual experience.
"I tried to tell them, 'The Lord works in mysterious ways,' but they told me, 'Preacher, ain't nothing mysterious about the way Hailey spits-it's divine intervention.'"
Now, a new spit-based congregation has emerged: The Church of the Holy Hawk Tuah. They gather every Sunday morning outside Big Earl's Barbecue Shack, where the sermon includes a mass spitting session and scripture readings from the newly published "Hawk Tuah Testament."
Pastor Jenkins, however, refuses to give up.
"Jesus walked on water, but I reckon if He lived in Belfast, He'd have learned to spit too," he lamented.
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Comment:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 folks, averaging 32.9 years, fill 266 households. Named for Belfast, Ireland, in 1836, it saw commerce by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—left a mark. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise has sparked a $500K boom, turning rural quiet into tourist turf. Men (62.94%) outnumber women (37.06%). Once 94.9% white, diversity edges in. Income ($39,676 median) reflects modest means, but Welch’s fame lifts it. This town’s knack for rebounding shines through its viral twist.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Ayelet Silverman
Literature and Journalism -- Syracuse
WRITER BIO:
Combining her passion for writing with a talent for satire, this Jewish college student delves into current events with sharp humor. Her work explores societal and political topics, questioning norms and offering fresh perspectives. As a budding journalist, she uses her unique voice to entertain, educate, and challenge readers.
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